I have lost faith in humanity. My heart is broken. My brain is dead.

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So, with the 10 year anniversary of the Columbine shootings coming up in a few days, and today being the two year anniversary of the Virginia Tech massacre, I decided to draw that of all times for me to draw something, it should should be now. So to further educate myself on Columbine, since its closest to home (I myself have lived in Colorado since grade school, and lived in a similarly calm, quiet town known as Woodland Park). The only information I previously had came from the news about ten years back, and that's it. Today, I read a few news reports, updated since forever ago, and then proceeded to watch Bowling For Columbine (please, no comments or opinions on Michael Moore) in segments on Youtube.

Well, now what's this in bolded caps in the related videos side bar, just begging to catch(and succeeding) my already focused attention? Columbine: for Education!


My natural assumption is that its probably an interview, or several, analyzing the shooters' psychological issues at the time of shootings. Now, I'm a stickler for psychological do-dillies and whatnots. What an interesting field to be in involved in!

No. No no no no no. Its not anything like what I had come even close to thinking. Its a track of different surveillance camers around the school, following the events in specific order.

Now, they aren't the videos that the different news channel showed, over and over again. They show the students...dying. I didn't know that at first. Hey, its just another surveillance camera, different angle. The students start running and panicking, and the shooters come into view; there's a kid that gets shot; he lags behind everyone else, as it switches to another camera, then another camera in the library. He sits down at a table, and dies.

I closed all my open windows, shut off my computer, grabbed Baby Girl, sat on my bed, and cried somewhere between 30 minutes to an hour. Yes, I knew it was bad. Two kids shot and killed several people. Horrible thing. Terrible thing. Its one thing to know something happened; its a completely different thing to see it happen.

When the incident first happened, I had no idea until my mom got home from work, grabbed me, hugged me, and cried. Told me what had happened, and life went on. We talked about it in school the next day, went over a few emergency plans should something like that ever happen in out neck of the woods, and it was never brought up again.

No, I won't give you the link to such a horrid vison. I don't see any educational value in watching children die, and I'm pretty sure none of you would want to see it anyway.


I suppose I don't really think that this journal will be worth reading to anyone and I doubt half the people in the US will give a shit on April 20 about Columbine; most people will be lighting up bowls and bongs and such, getting high and forgetting anything ever happened. I can't helped but be sickened by the thought, but to each his own. This is more or less a journal expressing my sadness about something that happened when I was at an age where I couldn't feel empathy, about a group of unfortunate inviduals I've never met, caught in the middle of the horrible wrath of people.

Anyway, I think I'm going to go take a long, long shower.


See you April 20.





Not fully updated. Many people are missing. Sorry!!)

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Epic fail, my friends. Epic fail.











[link]


(Its like ten, eleven thumbnails in.)





(Not fully updated. Many people are missing. Sorry.)

My reasons for living: (Lookit all these wondeful artists!)




My lords and masters:

<------ Aaaaawwwwesome. Go join now!!

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Yes, it was amazing, and yes, I wanted to cry at the end. The very thing I had been waiting to see happen finally happened, after nine years, and I was so overjoyed, I wanted to scream and burst into fanatical tears of unholiest happiness. I can't tell you what the something was, because I cannot bring myself to spoil such awesomeness for you all. Go see it for yourselves.

For those of you who do not have the privelege to know what I'm talking about, Into the Wild Green Yonder is the fourth, and last, to my dismay, installment of the Futurama movies, and is, by far, in my opinion, the best one. This concludes the series, bringing to an end an amazing string of plot twists and sci-fi epic stories that Futurama is. It stands as my favorite show of all time, and if I could marry Billy West, I would do it in a heartbeat, no questions asked. You have to see it for yourself, and to better understand this movie, you should see the previous three movies.

And to better understand any of the movies, you should probably have a general idea of the series and exactly what Futurama is.

This concludes the review of a magnifiscent idea that could probably determine the rest of my life. XD

Thank you, Matt Groening, the Futurama staff (including voice cast), and Billy West, whom I love to a stalker-like degree. XD



(Not fully updated. Many people are missing. Sorry.)

My reasons for living: (Lookit all these wondeful artists!)




My lords and masters:

<------ Aaaaawwwwesome. Go join now!!

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So... needless to say...I've been gone a while. Two months about. I've been in such an emotional rut, its been hell, and between feeling the agony of the single worst artistic block of my entire life, baby girl's tantrums/seizures, and a terrible numbness/pain in my hands, just about everything has proven itself dificult.

However, nothing excuses me from being away for so long. Nothing. So, I'm sorry for the distance. I can't begin to ask that you, my friends, forgive me for such an absence, as well as lack of artistic participation and socializing and the like, but know that I am sorry.

The person I have to apologize to most of all is . Having known one another since 9th grade, I should have at least made some attempt to let you know that I'm still here and that I still think of you. We did recieve you're birthday presents and they were fucking cute We recieved a notice for the Christmas parcel, but certain events disallowed me from retrieving it. Its not that I sent it back, because you know that I would never do that. I also apologize for not sending yours out to you of yet, but money being the tight strain it has been, I am unable to. I'm so sorry. I don't want you to think that I've forgotten you, because I haven't. I miss you, and I hope things are well.


I'll try to be around more, and maybe, someday, I'll post that art I've been talking about for 50 years.






(Not fully updated. Many people are missing. Sorry.)

My reasons for living: (Lookit all these wondeful artists!)




My lords and masters:

<------ Aaaaawwwwesome. Go join now!!